If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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