it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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