he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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