fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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