I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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