I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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