I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
