Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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