I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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