I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
