Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Even my vagina gasped.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
