I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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