Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
