Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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