Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Randomize
