My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
