yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
