The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
