No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
