Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
