no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
