i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
now i know why i became what i already was.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
