i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
