a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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