I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
