This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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