they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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