Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
