My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
