i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
