Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
