She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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