she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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