Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
