I must be too annoying 4 u.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
