i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
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