omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
