My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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