Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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