YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
