your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
