who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
