I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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