i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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