I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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