ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
