We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
