i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
