oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
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