It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
