if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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